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Friday, March 26, 2010

The Truth

There has been too much news about the new health care reform bill being passed, and to be honest I know as much about this health bill as Tiger knows about being with 1 girl. Last night I heard on the news that people are actually threating senators who approved the bill by sending letters and soaking an american flag in gasoline(seriously if you consider yourself an american, dont fucking soak an american flag in gas). I am guessing these are the people who attack the referee at thier childs basketblall game because they didnt call a foul. I am also guessing that if these people have the time to think of shit like this they probably have enought cash in the bank to afford their own health care. I mean think about it, lets say a 10 year old kid has a minor infection or illness and its family does not have health insurance so they just let it go and it gets worse and worse and eventually causes him to pass away. On the other hand the kid's family does get health care becasue of this bill, and 20 years down the road this kid discovers a cure for cancer. Boom, you who were all pissed that this bill got passed has cancer, oh and some kid who was able to get health care because of this bill suddenly has a cure for you. Now what, thats right. The botttom line is istead of worrying about stupid shit, take time to relax and get away however way you choose to.

Monday, March 15, 2010

More myteries

- If "I Cant believe its not butter" is not butter, then what is it?

- Does a love affair mean that someone is cheating on someone else?

- Where do turtles go in the winter?

- How do fish have babies?

- If a little bit of alcohol is good for you, why isnt a lot of alcohol a lot better for you?

- If Tiger Woods is a sex addict, what are pornographic film stars?

- When is someone gonna sign me to write shit like this on a real website?

- Is Bigfoot real?

Note: Tiger Woods is one of the most talked about individual on this blog, weird eh, a golfer?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Strange Days

The past 4 nights i have had off from work and of course with spring break there has been no school as well, so its safe to say that im enjoying myself. Ive done a lot of browsing on the Internet, watched a few low budget movies on hulu, a little online shopping, and sleeping in until noon(don't make fun because usually i am running on 3-4 hours of sleep a night). Yesterday i saw the powerball sign say 170 million, and thought to myself, self: if i were to win that i could be doing the above mentioned all my life but with jet skis, super models bring me a beer at my beach house, traveling to Russia and Italy and stuff like that. Today i am buying a powerball ticket. The title may throw you off because of the "Strange" part, this is just because i do feel a little guilty for doing nothing. I could be helping the homeless or learning to teach kids to read or something nice, but imma be selfish this week.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Looking for a rebound

Tiger is losing a lot of sponserships, I know one company that could use his face on thier brand

United States facts compared to canada

-Here in the U.S we say we are going on a vacation. In Canada they say they are taking a holiday. Personally I like the holiday version better. I need a holiday in mexico.

-Canada has Neil Young. The U.S has Joe Mauer. Draw

-Canada has a lot of cold air. The U.S has Warmer air. Advantage U.S

-Canada has cities named Yellow Knife, and Moose Factory and Moose Jaw. Here in the Us we have towns named chicago and Dallas. Advantage Canada

-Canadiens say Eh. U.S americans say huh. Draw

Why dont we just merge

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Sorry Fans, Ive been lacking in awesomeness lately, my computer has a virus and im taking my time on getting it fixed so i havent had a ton of time to blog, but my computer is fixed, i just need to learn how to set it up to the internet which is not as easy as it seems. If anyone who reads this happens to have a nice futon and perhaps a 56 inch plasma tv, get at me. Also something that you might like if you like breakfast is oat crunch cherios, and also french vanilla yo plait yogurt, they are both healthy and good tasting in your mouth. Ive been trying to eat healthy on weekdays becasue i usually cancel it out by doing unhealthy stuff on the weekends, but you only live once right? Team USA's hockey run was pretty fun to follow, its always nice to represent your country by watching them on the tv screen with a BIH.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Bobsled is coming, a little something to get excited about

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

30 things everyone should do before they die

1. Visit Wine (Napa) country
2. Buy a meal for a homeless person
3. Take a ride by yourself with a random stranger in a foreign country
4. Stay up all night
5. Give a hitch hiker a ride
6. Hook up with an famous person/super model
7. Write a blog
8. When a telemarketer calls, act real interested for 10 minutes and then hangup
9. Sleep naked
10. Be naked for the whole day
11. Grow a beard
12. Eat something from a dirty food cart in a big city
13. Get married in Vegas
14. Visit a gay club
15. Fast for 2 days
16. Do inappropriate things on a beach i.e- things related to 10 above
17. Get a massage
18. Mix business with pleasure
19. Write a poem/song
20. Make homemade bread
21. Visit Italy with a lover
22. Do a keg stand
23. Drive coast to coast
24. Do scuba
25. Visit some kind of festival
26. Booze Cruise
27. Walk Home 4+ miles
28. Fail miserably
29. Create your own style
30. Put yourself in uncomfortable situations

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Top 8 beers for the non-poor/if you can afford it then drink it

8. Dos Equis- giving mexico some spanish loving
7. Leines Honey Weiss- Keeping it classy for your honey
5. Schells Firebrick- Its darker but sometimes darker is good
5. Grain Belt Premium- They pay me for this, and its good
4. Leines Oktoberfest- it wont be oktsober fest, thats for sure
3. Stella Artois- Its Belgiumese I think, somewhere in europe
2. Salva Vida- Not many of you have ever heard it, but if your ever in honduras drink 1 or 2 or 14
1. Rolling Rock- like a rock

Monday, January 25, 2010

Keys to lliving a healthy lifestyle

- Excercise
- Eat spicy food
- Drinking, yeah well not a ton just enough to kill all the bacteria inside of you
- Sleep, if you dont sleep a lot, trick your body into thinking its not tired, it works
- Eat some fatty foods
- Stretch/Yoga
- Drink Hi-C
- Get fresh air

Just some free tips, I might have to write a book

Sunday, January 24, 2010


- The vikings lost, it was a tough game to watch because they turned the ball over like 5 or 6 times which is not gonna help you win games. I do believe the Refs screwed them in OT when they called pass interference on Ben Leber, Oh well sometimes i wonder why people invest so much time is something they cant control.

- It was a good weekend prior to the vikings lost, no hangovers so that is always a victory.

- Dyslexia story: Back in the day when i was playing baseball, we were at a ballpark that had a deck along the 3rd base line with a little restaurant and they had a sign that said "No Grills on Deck". I looked at it And thought it said "No Girls on Deck", i thought it was kinda sexist but at the end of the game i realized it did in fact say "Grills" hahah

- Peyton Manning is ugly

- Happy belated birthday to my niece Norelle, quite the cutie.

- The office last week sucked

- Hopefully my tax return nets me a good amount of money to blow on the finer things in life.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Skol Vikings

Vikings Win

And Jerry Jones is a wrinkled skin F**k

And the packers are done too

All is good in the hood

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Quotes that will be famous some day/ Top 5 reality shows I would like to star on

By: yours truly

"Its not about what you do everyday, its how you do it"


"Everbodys poop stinks"

Top 5 Reality shows I would star on

5. Big Brother- Pretty sure there would be major hooking up in my bedroom

4. Survivor- It would just be cool to be in a warm climate and have a chance to win 1million dolla, and i am a physical beast

3. Dancing with the stars- I can bust a move or 2

2. The real House Husbands of Hollywood- Its everyguys dream to have a wife who brings home the cash while a man dude runs the house duties

1. Charlie and Kate Plus 8- It would pretty much be like #2 but with 8 kids

Honorable Mention

The Hills
American Idle

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year

whats up guys, i am on the road near chicago visiting my buddy eric who just recently became a naval academy grad. we went up to some irish place and now were just chillen with our good friend morgan.. not dexter but captian, if my spelling is bad i dont give a shit becasue i am on a mac and my man hands are too big for the keyboard. so what did you guys do for new years, hopefully you were safe and used protection, as in a taxi or sober cab. And i am wearing my lucky shirt tonight so if all goes right something good could happen hahah. la8er